ADHD entrepreneurs have these 5 annoying traits. Let's celebrate them together!
As an ADHD entrepreneur there's a top five of annoying things we do.
And we're going to talk about them in this episode!
Hi! I'm Katie McManus, ADHD entrepreneur business strategist and money mindset coach.
And welcome to "The Weeniecast."
The origin story of The Weeniecast? TikTok videos. No BS!
Alright, so how bananas is it that a bunch of us ADHD unicorns found out about our sparkly brain quirks through TikTok?
Seriously, one minute you're just killing time, laughing at cat videos and people epic-failing at life, and the next, you're smacked in the face with this huge "Aha!" moment.
It's like going on a treasure hunt and finding the map tattooed on your own butt.
The cheat codes of ADHD coping
Some of us have been in the know about our brain's funky wiring since we were practically in diapers, while others only caught the memo later in life.
It's like half of us have been playing this crazy game of life with cheat codes, and the rest of us were just making it up as we went along, only to find the instructions taped to the bottom of our shoe, covered in glitter and coffee stains.
5 annoying things us ADHD entrepreneurs do
No spoilers, but you're about to go down a rabbit hole of unfinished tasks, shiny object syndrome, all-or-nothing dreaming, dopamine seeking, and a huge helping of Mean Girls.
Particularly burn books!
Timestamped summary
00:00 The 5 ADHD traits in entrepreneurs - an introduction.
04:06 Frustrating ADHD behaviors and ways to cope.
08:04 My regrets about unfinished knitting projects and legacy.
11:51 Planning doesn't equal doing; it's appealing.
14:06 Apology for planning and striving to overcome self-doubt.
18:26 Enjoying fitness but struggling with realistic planning.
20:08 Perfectionism leads to self-sabotage and failure.
23:36 Google ads fuel self-doubt and impostor syndrome persists.
28:33 Embracing community support and seeking business assistance.
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Knock yourself out. <- Click here for the YouTube version!
Your next steps after listening
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Want to just buy me a coffee in return for some helpful insight? Thank you! Here's where you can do that - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/katiethecoach
Mentioned in this episode:
Katie's May Birthday challenge
Clients can't hire you if they don't know you exist... Which is why it's SO important to post content to Social Media. Consistently. But that's easier said than done... To learn how to post consistently, you have to DO consistently. Which is why I've created the 31 Day Challenge- to hold your feet to the fire so you can create content, post, and finally attract your ideal clients to you, rather than chase them down...
Transcript
In this episode, we're going to talk about the
Speaker:top five annoying things that I, and probably you
Speaker:do as ADHD entrepreneurs. Hi, I'm Katie McManus,
Speaker:business strategist and money mindset coach, and welcome to the Weeniecast!
Speaker:There are two types of ADHD people
Speaker:that I tend to come across nowadays, that I have this podcast and I work
Speaker:with a lot of ADHD folks, and the first one is
Speaker:very similar to me. They got diagnosed with ADHD when they were a kid.
Speaker:Were never actually brought on board with what that meant
Speaker:for them, right? Because back in the day when you got diagnosed with
Speaker:ADHD, it was very much, here's how your ADHD is making
Speaker:everyone else frustrated. And
Speaker:I, along with all these other people who grew up
Speaker:knowing they had this label, but not actually understanding how it
Speaker:impacted them on a day to day, have now gotten to the point where they're
Speaker:comfortable with the label, but they're now watching TikToks and
Speaker:reels and listening to podcasts like this and they're
Speaker:understanding, oh, my God, I didn't realize that was an ADHD thing.
Speaker:That other thing that people do is also an ADHD thing. Holy
Speaker:crap. I thought it was just me. Like this whole time.
Speaker:I feel like there is gatekeeping of this information,
Speaker:and it is probably because the people that researched ADHD early
Speaker:on didn't have ADHD. And really, the only
Speaker:reason I got diagnosed with ADHD is because I wasn't really following along with what
Speaker:was going on in class, right. So I was the
Speaker:problem. That's kind of how they approached it early on is this child
Speaker:is being a problem. We need to make them not be a problem anymore.
Speaker:Maybe give them some Ritalin or some Adderall or whatever else there is out there,
Speaker:and hopefully that'll do the trick. I don't remember at any point, I
Speaker:will absolutely do an episode on my experience as a
Speaker:child getting diagnosed early on because I think that would be super valuable
Speaker:for those of you who got diagnosed early on to know that you weren't alone.
Speaker:But there was no point throughout all that where I was told about
Speaker:rejection, sensitivity, dysphoria, or executive
Speaker:dysfunction, I just thought I was bad at paying attention to stuff.
Speaker:I didn't realize that there was actually something going on in my brain that made
Speaker:it hard for me to start things. It honestly wasn't until
Speaker:the lockdown of Covid-19 where I got on
Speaker:TikTok and started watching these videos by people who
Speaker:have ADHD. They're younger than me. So they obviously had different
Speaker:support systems when they got their diagnosis, and they were describing all
Speaker:these things that I've done all my life. Squirrel. Squirrel. What
Speaker:fake Adhd looks like? Yeah, I have, like, really bad
Speaker:AdHD because I can never focus in class what
Speaker:real ADHD looks like? Okay, I'm just going to brush my hair. I
Speaker:kind of wish I was a brunette. Oh, are those my kids?
Speaker:I literally lost them. I have an identical
Speaker:twin sister, and we were both diagnosed with ADHD, but our diagnoses were almost ten
Speaker:years apart. I presented as very outwardly hyperactive, and she presented as more
Speaker:inattentive. So I was loud, disruptive, and had trouble sitting still,
Speaker:whereas she appeared uninterested during lessons, doodled a lot, and always seemed to be
Speaker:distracted by her thoughts. All right, let's sit down and do
Speaker:some work. Work.
Speaker:All right, enough. Come on, sit down, dude. Focus. Focus,
Speaker:Ford, focus. What a piece of car. Squirrel.
Speaker:It's like you're a zebra in a herd of horses.
Speaker:You might realize that you're a zebra, but you think that you have to fit
Speaker:in with these horses and really, like, zebras are
Speaker:horses. They're not great. They can't do the things that
Speaker:horses do. But understanding that there are other zebras
Speaker:that are also shitty horses and that they're shitty at being
Speaker:horses in the same way you're shitty at being a horse, there's a
Speaker:relief to that. And I hadn't ever
Speaker:experienced that relief until I started watching
Speaker:TikToks by other ADHD creators. And really, that's the only reason this
Speaker:podcast exists. So thank you to all those creators on
Speaker:TikTok who inspired this. So, in honor of
Speaker:that, I want to share with you the top five
Speaker:annoying things that my ADHD does
Speaker:that drive me and everyone around me up
Speaker:the wall and how I
Speaker:am learning to cope with them, because let's be
Speaker:honest here, they still drive me nuts. They're still problems. I haven't
Speaker:figured out the solution to this, and as I'm sharing these things, if
Speaker:you have an experience of this, I would love it if you shared
Speaker:how this shows up in your life to my instagram. If you go to
Speaker:Instagram, it's at Katie the coach. And
Speaker:if there's a thing that you have going on that I'm not
Speaker:listing, I'd love to hear that, too. Because the goal here is
Speaker:to start showcasing the person
Speaker:with ADHD, their experience of having
Speaker:ADHD, rather than the diagnostic
Speaker:criteria that represents how other people are
Speaker:frustrated with us. For someone to be able to diagnose us. They kind of have
Speaker:to be able to see, like, how us being ADHD is negatively impacting
Speaker:the people in our lives. It's usually the thing that we see,
Speaker:but for us, that doesn't quell this feeling
Speaker:of, I must be the only one. I'm just fucked up, there's something
Speaker:wrong with me. No one else has this problem. So the
Speaker:goal is to create a very comprehensive list of all the annoying shit
Speaker:that we have to struggle with with ourselves so that we know that we're not
Speaker:alone, so we know that we're actually adequate zebras, not inadequate
Speaker:horses.
Speaker:So the first thing on my list is I'm a 60
Speaker:percenter. I get really excited for new projects,
Speaker:and because I get hyper focused on new things that
Speaker:have variety and energy and are
Speaker:interesting to me, I can bang out a big
Speaker:chunk of any project to a
Speaker:point. There comes a point where
Speaker:it stops being exciting. Like, this new project
Speaker:loses its shine, gets a little dusty. The
Speaker:way you got yourself into it with that motivation
Speaker:fizzles out. Like, as I'm recording this podcast, I'm
Speaker:sitting in my office. It has four walls, as rooms
Speaker:do. Some rooms have more, some rooms have less. I don't know why I
Speaker:wanted to clarify that, except to explain that three of these
Speaker:walls are painted a different color than the fourth, and not on purpose,
Speaker:because when I made this room my office, I decided I wanted to
Speaker:repaint it, and I got three walls in, and I was like, you know what?
Speaker:That's good enough. I don't really
Speaker:feel like painting that fourth wall. It seems like I can do it later.
Speaker:Right? Like, this is good enough. That wall never
Speaker:got painted. Of course not. It's still the old color. To its
Speaker:credit, it does look like an accent wall. Okay, so it
Speaker:works. Unless you look under my desk and you see the can of paint that's
Speaker:still there with the drop cloth and the thing. Let's not talk about that.
Speaker:Also, there's, like, too much stuff in front of that, so you probably wouldn't even
Speaker:be able to see it if you did come into my room. This happens
Speaker:everywhere. This happens in all aspects of my life
Speaker:as a crafter. For those of you who do knitting and sewing
Speaker:and quilting, you'll know what I'm talking about. When
Speaker:I moved out of my apartment in Philadelphia, I literally counted
Speaker:how many knitting projects I had started and not
Speaker:completed that were still in project bags.
Speaker:And I'm pretty sure the number is around 23. Now,
Speaker:to give you an idea of the kind of knitting I do usually
Speaker:a ball of yarn that I buy is around $30, and these
Speaker:projects usually have about three of those, if not
Speaker:more. So $90 worth of yarn. The needles are
Speaker:usually $20 each. And then, of course, the project bag. So
Speaker:literally 23 projects that all cost me all
Speaker:in, say, $130 that I've never
Speaker:finished, they're all about 60% done.
Speaker:And honestly, I know I'm just going to continue to move them
Speaker:with me as I go through life until I die. They're never going to get
Speaker:finished. Like whoever I leave my
Speaker:estate to when I'm old because I don't think I'm going to have kids, I
Speaker:feel really bad for them because they're going to have to throw out
Speaker:my unfinished work that I started 60 years before.
Speaker:So, to whoever you are, if this podcast is still around when
Speaker:I die, I preapologize to you. And also
Speaker:I preapologize for all the projects that I know I will start between now and
Speaker:then and never finish that you will also have to deal with. What's extra
Speaker:fun about this is it doesn't just exist in painting rooms,
Speaker:in renovating your house. It also happens in your business,
Speaker:which makes it so much fun for
Speaker:your vas, your obms, your podcast producer, to
Speaker:work with you. As Neil and I were talking about the topic of this episode,
Speaker:he reminded me of a couple things that I told him I would get to
Speaker:him months ago and then completely forgot about.
Speaker:I'm not gonna lie. Hearing about them gave me a little bit of anxiety,
Speaker:but also, I should probably get them done right.
Speaker:This is something that drives me crazy about
Speaker:myself. It's something that if I could wave a magic
Speaker:wand, I would change spelly armor. And it's also something
Speaker:that I honestly have not figured out how to fix.
Speaker:Right. I have set goals for myself that I'm going to finish all these
Speaker:things. I have asked for accountability on
Speaker:them, and usually that accountability just gives me anxiety.
Speaker:The one thing that I find does help is
Speaker:having someone sit down and doing it with me. Like body doubling,
Speaker:having a friend come over. I mean, it would be really boring for a friend
Speaker:to come over and just sit there while I finish a knitting project
Speaker:that really, honestly needs another 14 to 25
Speaker:hours of knitting. That would be a very patient friend, or it
Speaker:would be a friend who really has to catch up on a major series or
Speaker:something on Netflix. I have good friends, but I also don't have
Speaker:any friends who have that much free time. So it's
Speaker:probably not effective for a lot of stuff that I'm only 60% on,
Speaker:so if you have any tips on this, I would be open to hearing them.
Speaker:If you also do this, I'd love to hear exactly how
Speaker:this shows up for you in your life. This also shows up in
Speaker:how I live my life in my space. So, like, for instance,
Speaker:if I decide that I'm going to take Luna for a walk, I have to
Speaker:put on socks and I have to put on shoes. I'll go into my bedroom,
Speaker:I'll open the drawer, pull out the socks, then put them on, and
Speaker:then go for a walk. I won't close the drawer.
Speaker:By the time I've acquired the socks, the drawer has
Speaker:ceased to exist to me. It has served its purpose.
Speaker:Like, there's no next step in my mind to the point where
Speaker:I will walk into my bedroom and every single drawer
Speaker:in all of my dressers will be open. And it's
Speaker:inconvenient because if you need something in a lower drawer, you can't get to it.
Speaker:So that's when you kind of have to close things. But that
Speaker:60% done shows up in a lot of places.
Speaker:It has made me kind of an annoying roommate in the past, and I do
Speaker:apologize. My former roommates. Anyway, moving on.
Speaker:The second thing that drives me absolutely bonkers about
Speaker:myself and also annoys people around me, is I'm really good
Speaker:at planning the plan. Right?
Speaker:Planning the plan does not equal doing the plan.
Speaker:This happens especially for us, in the new year,
Speaker:in a new month, right. We decide that we're going to take on a
Speaker:new habit that sounded like hobbit, a
Speaker:new habit, like working out or being on social
Speaker:media. We're really good at planning out what we want to do,
Speaker:and we can kind of get addicted to the planning of it
Speaker:and not actually ever do any of it.
Speaker:So planning on the plan. For me, this
Speaker:especially shows up in creating workout plans for myself and
Speaker:in my business, two areas that are pretty important,
Speaker:my health and my income. Now, I will
Speaker:say there's something about this that I do like, because creating a plan, to me,
Speaker:I find very soothing, very reassuring, that when you see the
Speaker:plan laid out on paper and there's space for it in your life and you
Speaker:could do it if you wanted to do it, it's there for you, it fits,
Speaker:there's time for it. It's not like you're being unreasonable in saying
Speaker:that you're going to devote x amount of time every single day when you don't
Speaker:actually have that time available. So there is some value here,
Speaker:right? Because sometimes when you have anxiety, you just have to do one little
Speaker:thing that will bring your anxiety down enough that you can move on and do
Speaker:other stuff. Sometimes this is that for me. But for the
Speaker:most part, I'm really great at making plans that I never act on.
Speaker:I imagine who I would be if I made the plan
Speaker:and did the plan. Think about how fit I'd be. Think about how
Speaker:accomplished I'd be. Think about how many books I would have written by now. There
Speaker:are several books that I've started and I've never finished, but I have plans for
Speaker:them. I have the chapters planned out. I have the storyline or
Speaker:the point of the book. Fiction and nonfiction. I could be a New York
Speaker:Times bestselling author by now.
Speaker:I'm now going through what my life would look like, and I'm living in a
Speaker:moment of regret because there's no way I'm ever going to follow the plan.
Speaker:There's no way I'm going to plan the plan and then actually do the plan
Speaker:on all the plans that I've ever made. I get excited for new
Speaker:plans all the time, and actually, maybe that's a hobby. Maybe that's
Speaker:something I do for fun. If you listen to the last episode where we talked
Speaker:about having fun for fun's sake, maybe planning is actually
Speaker:something that I do for fun, which is kind of sad. I need more
Speaker:hobbies.
Speaker:I need to get out more. This episode is basically an apology
Speaker:tour to everyone who has to deal with me on a day to day
Speaker:basis or has had to in the past. So I apologize to those of you
Speaker:who've had to deal with my planning self and my not doing
Speaker:self. I want to say I'll try to be better in the future, but I'm
Speaker:always trying to be better and it never actually works.
Speaker:Number three, another thing that I do as a
Speaker:business owner with ADHD is I actually steal
Speaker:dopamine from myself all the time. This dopamine
Speaker:theft usually happens by me setting an
Speaker:arbitrary deadline for me to do something that I planned
Speaker:on and then not doing it and missing that deadline
Speaker:that I set for myself that no one else was counting on, and then feeling
Speaker:bad about it and feeling like, oh my God, I'm so behind. This is
Speaker:three weeks late when really it doesn't affect any other part of your
Speaker:business. No one's waiting for it. It's
Speaker:literally just something that you said that you would do for you and then
Speaker:gave yourself a deadline for when you
Speaker:pass a deadline. There's no more dopamine in that action
Speaker:if you go and do it, you don't get any credit for it.
Speaker:There's no wave of relief that you got this done.
Speaker:You've failed already, right? It is the
Speaker:ultimate way to steal dopamine from yourself. This is one of the
Speaker:reasons why in the Monday sprints that I do with my clients and my
Speaker:communities, one of the first things I have them do in that
Speaker:call is I have them forgive themselves. Like silver light
Speaker:just kind of washing over them. That washes away the
Speaker:lateness and the behind on the deadline
Speaker:and kind of cleans up all the energy around the tasks
Speaker:that they're going to assign themselves that week. Because if any of those tasks are
Speaker:hangovers from the week before, the week before, the month before, the year before,
Speaker:they're not going to have any credit attached to them. They're just going to have
Speaker:failure. And whenever we feel like we've already failed at something, that's prime
Speaker:time for our executive dysfunction to pop up and we will avoid it
Speaker:and we'll continue to feel about it, and it doesn't matter, actually,
Speaker:how many other things we do and accomplish in that
Speaker:week if we still have that one thing that we're behind
Speaker:on it actually robs dopamine from the other things as well. We got this
Speaker:from school. We got this from work. There were deadlines we had to have our
Speaker:homework in. If we didn't do it, we didn't get credit. If we didn't learn
Speaker:the stuff by the time the exam, we failed the exam. When you run your
Speaker:own business, you're the boss. You make the rules.
Speaker:If business is going fine without this
Speaker:thing, then you're fine. No one cares.
Speaker:I had a complete meltdown to my social media manager a couple of
Speaker:years ago because I had set this expectation for myself, even though I
Speaker:tell all my clients different, I had become prominent on
Speaker:LinkedIn and had a really steady posting schedule for
Speaker:like, it was just baked into my routine. And then I was like, okay, cool.
Speaker:And then now I'm going to do TikTok, Pinterest, and Instagram all at the same
Speaker:time, counter to every bit of advice I give every one of my clients.
Speaker:It's too much. And so I assigned myself the work. I planned the
Speaker:plan, and then I didn't do the plan. I had this freak out because I
Speaker:was robbing dopamine for myself and I wasn't getting other stuff done. Jess called
Speaker:me out on it. She was like, okay, cool. Were you ever getting clients from
Speaker:these other platforms? And at the time, I wasn't. She's like, okay, cool. So
Speaker:you not doing it is actually not hurting you in any way, shape or form,
Speaker:right? It's not like you're missing out on business because the business
Speaker:isn't there yet, because you haven't done it yet. You've gotten all your
Speaker:business from LinkedIn and from referrals and from other sources.
Speaker:You're fine. When we rob ourselves of
Speaker:dopamine, we rob ourselves of that steam that keeps the momentum
Speaker:going. And it's cruel and it's unnecessary,
Speaker:and it actually hurts us more than it helps us. So deadlines,
Speaker:use them to the extent that they're useful for you,
Speaker:but when they start becoming destructive, stop. That's what I've
Speaker:learned.
Speaker:Related but different. The all or nothing. So for someone
Speaker:who is not athletic at all, like, doesn't know the rules to sports,
Speaker:if you've been around here a while, you know, I can screw up the most
Speaker:simple sports metaphor, but that doesn't mean that I don't
Speaker:enjoy physical fitness. So, like, I love going to the gym. I love
Speaker:picking up heavy things and putting them back down. I love
Speaker:cardio and kickboxing and all that stuff. And
Speaker:I think when I create a fitness plan for myself,
Speaker:I tend to get excited for all the things that I can do in a
Speaker:week in my mind, and I forget that my body
Speaker:still has to actually do the things. So I
Speaker:have to catch myself on this all the time. And this happens at least once
Speaker:a month. I'll make a workout plan for myself. Three days in the
Speaker:gym, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. Here's the workout plan I'm going to follow. Oh,
Speaker:I have four more days in the week. Great. What if I ran two of
Speaker:them and did yoga plotties the other two?
Speaker:Oh, but now I want to look at the schedule for that yoga studio. They
Speaker:have a yoga class at night, but that's on a Tuesday or Thursday. Okay, cool.
Speaker:I can do two workouts that day. Oh, yeah. Well,
Speaker:if I want to run two times a week now, it kind of has to
Speaker:overlap with this thing. Okay, so I'll work out three times that day. Two times
Speaker:this day. That's not going to happen. I'm
Speaker:not an athlete. I'm a normal person who sits most of the
Speaker:day. Okay. I'm also way less in shape than I used to be when I
Speaker:worked at Equinox. Right. Which is a place I used to work at. It was
Speaker:a high end fitness club. What I still do to myself to this day is
Speaker:I make this elaborate plan with this unreasonable amount
Speaker:of workouts. In it. And day one I hold myself to the
Speaker:expectation of doing it and I don't do it. And then it's like, well, I've
Speaker:already failed at this, so I might as well not do it for the rest
Speaker:of the week. And then next week I'll start. We do this all or nothing
Speaker:thing to ourselves, right? And we attach failure to it
Speaker:when we don't adhere to it perfectly. It happens in
Speaker:fitness, it happens in diets. If you're trying to lose weight or if you're trying
Speaker:to eat differently, if you're trying to cut sugar out, and then you go eat
Speaker:ice cream, and then you ate ice cream once, so you've screwed up the
Speaker:whole plan and, oh, nothing. So now you're just going to eat ice cream
Speaker:and completely fall off the wagon. Happens in our
Speaker:businesses, like posting social media. If you're in
Speaker:a 100 day streak and you miss one of the days, what happens
Speaker:the next day? And the next day? And the next day? Do you have the
Speaker:same momentum? There's a point at which giving
Speaker:ourselves like short sprint goals to do something every single day is really
Speaker:helpful, but it stops being
Speaker:helpful when we apply the all or nothing rule
Speaker:to it. If you failed one day, then
Speaker:none of the rest counts. It does actually
Speaker:count. That's something that drives me absolutely crazy about
Speaker:myself. And yet I still do it.
Speaker:I still do it. I still make these elaborate plans and I never stick to
Speaker:them. It's exhausting. I mean, it's not
Speaker:as exhausting as working out two or three times a day. Now I'm just thinking
Speaker:about how fit I could be, how in shape.
Speaker:Oh my God. The last thing that really annoys me,
Speaker:that qualifies for this list is what am I going to say
Speaker:next? Well, you'll have to keep listening to find out. But first, squirrel, squirrel,
Speaker:squirrel, squirrel.
Speaker:The last thing that really annoys me that qualifies for this
Speaker:list is this assumption that I suck.
Speaker:I pretty much assume that I suck at everything. It
Speaker:takes a lot of positive feedback for me
Speaker:to start believing that I don't suck at something.
Speaker:This is classic impostor syndrome. Now, this comes from
Speaker:various places in our ADHD matrix, right? Comes from
Speaker:rejection, sensitivity, dysphoria, where maybe we do something but
Speaker:we don't get the overt feedback that was
Speaker:positives. And so we assume that it wasn't good enough, that we weren't good
Speaker:enough. It can also come from having shiny object
Speaker:syndrome and jumping from hobby to hobby to hobby to hobby.
Speaker:We don't necessarily become deep experts about everything. We become
Speaker:generalists, and whenever we come across
Speaker:someone who knows more about a thing than we know,
Speaker:we just assume that we're trash. Right? We're trash.
Speaker:They're the best. We suck. We're the worst. And that's
Speaker:that. Early on in my business, I did this a lot more,
Speaker:because when I would go online, when I go on social media, I'd get all
Speaker:these advertisements from fellow business coaches, and they looked more
Speaker:successful than me, and they looked more well put together.
Speaker:They had way more success stories with their
Speaker:clients. Now, I completely discounted that. This person
Speaker:usually had been in business ten years longer than I had because they'd
Speaker:been in business ten years longer than I had. They had a bigger budget, they
Speaker:had more programs because they'd had the time to develop them,
Speaker:and they just had more experience. And also, you can
Speaker:appear successful online and not actually have success. So who knows
Speaker:if these people actually were as successful as they were? But these
Speaker:advertisements were in my awareness because they were showing up for me, and they
Speaker:would make me feel so small until I
Speaker:realized that the Google machine pays attention to everything that we talk
Speaker:about. So as someone who's constantly talking about business coaching,
Speaker:because I'm a business coach, the Google machine can't
Speaker:discern between, oh, this person does that, or this person is interested
Speaker:in that. So the Google machine just shows you lots and
Speaker:lots of business coaches, right? Or if you're a yoga teacher, lots of other yoga
Speaker:teachers, or if you're a landscaper, lots and lots of other landscapers,
Speaker:to the point that it's really easy to think the market's completely
Speaker:saturated and everyone else is way better at this than you are,
Speaker:and you should just give up. Now, I've gotten better at this because I
Speaker:have that understanding, and yet still, I get
Speaker:major impostor syndrome. When people who
Speaker:I admire and respect and I see as successful in a lot of
Speaker:different ways, when they reach out to me and ask me to partner with them,
Speaker:my impostor syndrome flares up like, no, you're not qualified for this.
Speaker:Forgetting the fact that they know I'm qualified, there's a reason
Speaker:they want to partner with me. Now,
Speaker:this annoying thing, this assuming I business, is
Speaker:one of the most painful things, because this assumption that I
Speaker:suck or that I'm not good enough in a lot of areas
Speaker:actually keeps me from going for things that I really deeply want.
Speaker:I have ADHD, and if you follow sacred money archetypes,
Speaker:I'm a maverick, which means I'm very risk comfortable. Okay,
Speaker:I'm okay, with risk, I actually really enjoy it. And
Speaker:also sometimes if the risk is that I'm going to be
Speaker:rejected or told that I'm not good enough, I will just self
Speaker:reject. I will hold myself back. I won't actually go for
Speaker:it. That's not something that helps you grow your business. It's not something
Speaker:that helps you grow an empire, which I'm working on right now.
Speaker:So this, as I'm talking through this, I feel like I'm just giving myself a
Speaker:therapy session. Honestly. There's an activity that I assign to my clients and I rarely
Speaker:do for myself. You know the movie mean girls and how
Speaker:like, the premise of the movie is based around this group of
Speaker:girls who are mean and they write mean shit about everyone
Speaker:else in this burn book. The burn book gets out
Speaker:and it tears people down and
Speaker:like, violence ensues. They have to have a whole school assembly
Speaker:to assess or to acknowledge all the mean things that got said.
Speaker:And the reason it got that far is because the mean things that were
Speaker:said were believed by the person that they were said about.
Speaker:If you say something mean about me that I don't think is true already, I'm
Speaker:not going to get upset about it. I don't care. But if you say something
Speaker:mean about me that I'm already holding against myself, I already
Speaker:assume I suck in that way. That's painful.
Speaker:Now, what I tell my clients to do that I'm going to start doing after
Speaker:this recording is instead of collecting a burn book on yourself, because we all
Speaker:do it. We're all constantly scanning the world for all the ways in which we
Speaker:suck. Instead of collecting a burn book about
Speaker:yourself, start creating a brag book.
Speaker:We have a weird relationship with that word brag, right? Because
Speaker:when we see someone brag, it's usually done in a way that is meant to
Speaker:make other people feel bad. That's not bragging. That's being an
Speaker:asshole in its most energetically
Speaker:pure form. Bragging is a
Speaker:manifestation tool. Bragging is basically saying to
Speaker:the universe, oh, my God, this amazing thing happened.
Speaker:I am so happy about it. I would love if
Speaker:more things like this happened. Please and thank you.
Speaker:Now, the trick here, and I know this for my clients, and if you
Speaker:have a business, you know what I'm talking about, because we all know for our
Speaker:clients things that we don't do for ourselves, right? Anyway,
Speaker:a brag book isn't going to feel real until you do it a lot. Because
Speaker:if you've been raised your entire life to look for all the ways in which
Speaker:you suck. And you're really good at looking for that evidence. Looking
Speaker:for evidence that's opposite to that is going to feel really
Speaker:fake for a long time.
Speaker:So it takes repetition, it takes constantly acknowledging
Speaker:the things that you're good at, the good things that come to you, the things
Speaker:that you're grateful for. It's a practice. It's not a one
Speaker:time thing. And I'm explaining this to you, but I'm also kind of explaining this
Speaker:to myself so that when Neil and I stop recording this podcast,
Speaker:I can sit down and plan a plan about how I'm going to incorporate this
Speaker:into my day. And you can see where this is going to go. I'm going
Speaker:to plan the plan and I'm not going to do the plan. And then I'm
Speaker:going to continue to assume that I suck.
Speaker:It is a vicious cycle, people.
Speaker:And to be honest, I'm not entirely sure how to get out of it.
Speaker:But you know what? One of the best things about the
Speaker:weeniecast community is that we can be in this vicious cycle
Speaker:together, and it doesn't feel as vicious.
Speaker:And for that, I thank you for being here. I thank you for
Speaker:being in my world and for all the beautiful feedback that you give me about
Speaker:this podcast and how it helps you every day.
Speaker:And for all the ways in which this episode might not have actually been helpful
Speaker:at all because I haven't actually figured this stuff out for myself. I
Speaker:apologize and I thank you for listening. Squirrel, squirrel,
Speaker:squirrel, squirrel. If you're ready to stop being a weenie and actually run a business
Speaker:that makes money, then go ahead and book a generate income
Speaker:strategy call with me by going to
Speaker:weeniecast.com strategycall.
Speaker:On this call, we will talk about your goals, your dreams,
Speaker:and your frustrations in getting there. And if it's a fit
Speaker:for both of us, then we can talk about different ways to work together.
Speaker:Okay, back to this thing with the weird apostrophe. Okay,
Speaker:shut up, Neil. Stop talking.
Speaker:Okay,
Speaker:to get my together.
Speaker:Are you hiding? Are you hiding so I don't see you laughing?
Speaker:My RSD is pulsing right now. Oh my God.
Speaker:RSD. RSD. Okay, in
Speaker:this episode, we're going to talk you through why. To have
Speaker:more fun. For fun's sake. For fuck sake.
Speaker:Yes. Brilliant.
Speaker:Awesome. Squirrel,
Speaker:squirrel, squirrel, squirrel.
